This blog is dedicated to Eden and Eliot, my two little ones, whom I dearly love, and who bring me exuberant joy.
I am writing to chronicle the immensely rich journey of motherhood with all of its bright, glorious moments and also its dark, despairing ones. If you’re a mother who’s ever lost it over a pile of Megabloks on your living room floor – you know what I’m talking about.
I was raised as part of a generation of girls who were taught that they could be anything they wanted to be. Aeronautical engineers, scientists, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, political leaders…and the list goes on. We are the generation of super-achieving perfectionists.
We swallowed whole, the assumption that we would have rewarding careers, and make something of ourselves. And when motherhood comes along, we will take it in our stride, do what is required of us, and do it effortlessly – while saving the earth, solve all of society’s wants and raise model citizens who will themselves contribute to an ever more enlightened society.
No one really talked about how difficult it would be to be a mother. How from the moment of your child’s birth, you are locked into a deep and enduring attachment that goes completely against your carefully constructed identity as a modern, independent woman. For me, nothing I had done up to that point in my life, prepared me for the intensity of that connection and that need.
Our culture today has built an industry around happy motherhood. Starting from the birthing classes that urge you to bring candles, music and massage pillows for a spa-like experience during labor, you are set up to think you will gracefully glide into this next season of your life with as much control and deliberation as you exerted in planning other significant life events, like your own wedding.
But the actual birthing experience can be far cry from any self-willed, orchestrated event. Instead, it may be messy, out-of-control, fraught with anxiety and even danger.
So stay and read on if you are looking for some company to share your own journey. You’ll find stories, ideas, confessions and maybe the occasional insight.
Leave a comment, share your experiences, encourage someone. Be honest, be kind.